A general lack of attention to appearance (grooming and dress).
Saying please and thank you.
Lack of Respect for the Elderly and Women.
Taking one's hat off while indoors, but especially when eating.
A lack of consideration and self control of bodily functions. This includes, passing gas, belching, nail biting, adjusting ones privates, chewing gum with the mouth open, not being discreet and quite when blowing the nose, spitting and not covering the mouth when coughing and/or sneezing.
Table Manners. Chewing with the mouth open, taking bites too large for one's mouth, talking with the mouth full of food, reaching across the table and a general lack of knowledge with regard to what utensils to use and how to use them.
"Chivalrous Favors." This is a fabulous term that Magpie introduced to me (and... being Mockingbird, I had to repeat). This includes, offering to help with bags, offering your seat on the bus to the elderly, getting up when a lady arrives and departs the table, opening/holding doors and allowing ladies to exit elevators first.
Yelling,Loosing One's Temper, Swearing, Interrupting, Staring - Ogling and a Lack of Introductions.
A lack of boundaries with respect to cell phones and PDA devices.
Bathroom Manners. Leaving the toilet seat up and urinating on the toilet seat and/or floor.
I know that some men feel that the women's movement flushed the idea of etiquette right down the toilet. After all, manners seem to change with societal changes. However, I do think the that women's liberation can co-exist with manners. After all in Peter Post's, The Essential Etiquette for Men, (yes the grandson of the queen of etiquette) says that, "The art of etiquette really comes down to being thoughtful of other people you encounter in your everyday life. We all tend to associate 'proper behavior' with formal social events - but true etiquette involves behaving with respect and consideration for others in everything that you do, from attending a high-society soiree to simply hanging out around the house." Which is to say, mutual respect and consideration has nothing to do with gender. If a gentleman pulls out my seat at the dinner table, I do not feel any less empowered. You may say I am old-fashioned and do not fully grasp the idea of "women's lib," but open a door for me and I say - "I love being a woman and appreicate a gentleman!"
1 comment:
Mockingbird, I love this posting and think we should perhaps come up with a class for wayward men who don’t know how to conduct themselves in public or in the presence of a lady.
I will admit that after 9 years of marriage my husband and I have gotten pretty comfortable around each other in our home but, in private when it is just the two of us. With that said though, my husband always stays on the appropriate side of the sidewalk with me no matter what, makes sure my purse is always between us, opens doors for me and has great table manners. I consider myself lucky because I have been out with men on a person and professional level who are not like that at all and could use some tips from a professional.
There are some men in my life that I would love to tell the following:
1. Quiet down when you eat – we don’t all need to hear you smacking your lips
2. Don’t lick your fingers – use a napkin
3. Please carry a handkerchief or tissue in your pocket
4. Use a toothpick not your fingers!
It is a shame that in today’s casual world manners are going the way of the dinosaur and I have to think to myself, is the end of romance next? You have to admit that manners are pretty sexy and romantic.
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